Lost Causes Read online

  That shut them up. After I explained, they remained quiet, this time with slack jaws.

  Miriam found her voice. “No way. The firsts are part of our creation myth, like Adam and Eve with fewer fig leaves. Whatever you think you found, it was something else. ”

  Sera’s face was impassive, as it always was when her mind churned. “Luke, you’re not giving us a lot of reason to believe in your sanity here.”

  Luke wasn’t offended. “I’m telling you what I know, but I’m also telling you I think it’s a terrible idea. The one I knew was unpredictable on her good days and downright volatile the rest of the time. We can’t walk up and expect an ancient being to listen to a reasoned argument.”

  “Care to fill us in?” Carmichael’s tinny voice came from Sera’s right hand.

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “He was checking in.” Sera put the phone on speaker.

  I spoke loud enough for Carmichael to hear. “It’s where we all come from. Well, not you, but the rest of us. Even Johnson can trace his ancestry to the original ones, what with his tiny hint of elemental blood. When the earth was created, it produced magic. Or maybe magic produced the earth, no one’s really sure. All we know is life is creation, and creation is a form of magic. The firsts existed from the dawn of time, at least as far back as we can measure it, and they stayed with the landscapes to which they were connected—earth, water, glaciers, volcanoes, stone, desert, or beach. It was this way for millennia, at least until humans started claiming the land for their own. That’s when the original magic chose to take human shape and mate with the men. Call it the ‘if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em’ approach. Most of the mothers grew too attached to their children to leave once they were born.”

  Miriam chucked a heavy duffle bag into the bus. “And those that didn’t care for their new human bodies became animals, and that’s where shifters come from—the mix of magic, animals, and the memory of humanity. Can’t really blame the firsts for that, but it’s why I thought it was just myth. The whole thing smacked of Zeus becoming a swan and all of that.”

  Simon frowned. “The Greeks stole that from us.”

  I hurried to finish the tale. “The official elemental story is that some of them chose not to permanently become humans or animals. Instead, they disappeared into the wilds, never to be seen again.”

  Miriam swung the second duffle bag on top of the other one, arm muscles flexing under its weight. “Didn’t you get this in the info package, Carmichael?”

  “He’s a bit slow,” Sera stage-whispered. She wasn’t entirely wrong. Carmichael wasn’t stupid, not at all. He just needed to hear about magical things at least three times before he started to believe them.

  The agent didn’t rise to the bait. “If these are your ancestors, won’t they be willing to help you?”

  Luke laughed, a short bark with little humor. “Don’t ever think the firsts will act as you’d expect a normal person to act. Full-blooded elementals are half-human. These things… well, they’re pure magic. That’s it.”

  Simon finally found a t-shirt that passed his rigorous smell test and pulled it over his head. “So we find one of these creatures and save Aidan, then we return to living like civilized people capable of wearing clean clothes on a regular basis. I support this plan.”

  Mac sounded like he didn’t believe a single word of Luke’s story. “How will a first cure Aidan?”

  Luke held his gaze. “She’ll let the first mess with her power and hope it eventually decides to heal her. That’s all Aidan can do, and it’s a hell of a long shot.”

  He really wasn’t filling me with hope and confidence.

  Sera looked about as certain as I felt. “Is there any other cure?”

  “Not that I know. Not permanently.”

  Mac’s fingers contorted, the nails growing hard and sharp. “If you’re lying…”

  “I know, I know. You’ll disembowel me while singing a jaunty tune. I got the message. Believe me, if there was another choice, I wouldn’t be going anywhere near this thing.”

  “What’s so dangerous about it?” Mac asked.

  Luke exhaled. “She plays with elementals and their magic. She’s controlling and demanding, and she won’t help Aidan out of the goodness of her heart. Hell, she may trap her forever.”

  “She?” I asked.

  “The first takes a female form when she wishes to appear.”

  With Luke’s description, my friends seemed even more nervous about this course of action.

  To forestall further debate, I found the black case and showed them its contents, reminding them how little of the drug remained. “We’re out of choices. No matter how dangerous it is, it’s better than the alternative.”

  Sera’s mouth twisted in displeasure. “Then I guess we better start searching for a mythological being.”

  I refused to share the others’ concerns. “Hell, we used to believe shifters and duals didn’t exist, and look at us now. I bet we could find Yeti and the Loch Ness monster without even trying.”

  “Where are we going, Luke?” Miriam already sat in the driver’s seat.

  “North, across the Utah border. I’ll get you there, but I’m not meeting with that thing again. You get to do that on your own.”

  My friends stared at Luke, suspicion writ large across their faces.

  He was unmoved. “I’ve been trapped by that thing, and I won’t go through it again. I’m not exaggerating about how awful it’ll be. You’ll be lucky to escape at all. I got away once. I’m not fool enough to think I’ll do it twice. This is your risk, not mine.” Luke put his helmet on and revved the bike’s engine, forestalling any further questions.

  Mac crept behind me. “Why are we following him again?”

  I gave his wrist a quick squeeze. “Because it’s a risk worth taking.”

  That wasn’t the real reason I wanted to believe Luke told the truth. In so many ways, we were the same. Trusting him meant I could trust myself, and I very much needed to trust myself for a while longer.

  Two hours later, Luke pulled the bike over and joined us. He pointed to my destination. “You’ll need to walk. The bus won’t make it.”

  He wasn’t kidding. The landscape had really begun showing off the closer we got to the Utah border. Everywhere I looked, I saw another setting begging to be photographed. Red rocks erupted from the ground. Some were flat and thick, oversized stepping stones guiding us across the land. Some formed sharp spires, their pointed tips stretching to meet the sky. About two hundred feet from the road, there was a red hill with sloping sides leading to a flat top. If Luke was correct, that’s where a first waited. From here, I couldn’t see anything but the few trees blocking our view of the top.

  Sera pointed at the steam rising from the overheated engine. “There’s a chance this beast won’t be making it anywhere ever again. You got this, Miriam?”

  “On it.” Miriam was already digging tools and jugs of water from beneath the seats.

  I grabbed a gallon of water as she passed. I might need it for the hike, but mainly I felt better holding my element like a liquid security blanket. “Only one way to find out what’s up there.” I took a step toward the door.

  Mac, Sera, and Luke grabbed me.

  “Aidan…” Luke stopped, taking a few seconds to think about what he’d say next. His expression was earnest, without a hint of his usual humor. “If you go up there, you may not come down. You definitely won’t come back the same.”

  “I got the doom and gloom memo. I have to try. You can come with me. Another dual would be a huge help.”

  Luke’s eyes grew wild with fear. “That’s the one thing I can’t do. Aidan, there were five of us when I was there, all strong as hell. That’s her world. She’s in charge. Escape isn’t impossible, but it’s damned unlikely.”

  “I’m going.” Everything depended on it. My sanity. My friend’s safety. My family’s freedom. If I was cured, I might have some negotiating power with the council. It m
ight only be a pipe dream, but it was a pipe dream that kept me going.

  “Not alone.” Mac spoke in that low growl he used whenever I did something he considered risky—which was pretty much everything.

  My voice rose in frustration. I knew they’d consider my anger proof they were right, which only pissed me off more. “Will you stop that? I still make my own decisions, and I’ve decided if this is as dangerous as Luke says, I’m going by myself. I’m the only one who needs the cure.”

  My friends’ vise-like grips didn’t give an inch. I pried off Mac’s right hand. He replaced it as soon as I removed his left one. I switched to logic. “If it’s a trap, someone will need to rescue me when I inevitably put my foot in it. And someone else needs to man the getaway vehicle.” I smiled winningly. They weren’t won over.

  Sera had a different plan. “Vivian will drive. Simon and Miriam can rescue. That okay with you, Simon?”

  Miriam slammed the hood shut, making Luke wince. The man wasn’t on edge. He was tiptoeing across a razor.

  “Luke, what the hell should I expect up there? You said earlier that it’ll try to play with my magic. Now would be a really good time to offer a few specifics.”

  Miriam interrupted before he could answer. “I’m good with rescue duty, but Simon might be a problem. If you’re going to ask him, you’ll have to speak a little louder.” She pointed at the slope leading to the top of the hill, where a small black cat started his climb.

  “Damn it,” I swore. “When will you people stop acting like a bunch of heroic idiots?”

  Mac and Sera were distracted enough by Simon that I was able to wrench myself loose. I raced off the bus and sprinted toward the hilltop. Footsteps pounded after me, but my secret morning runs gave me a boost they couldn’t match.

  So much for approaching the first in a calm, organized manner.

  I hit the top twenty feet ahead of Mac and Sera. I leapt over the edge, prepared to pick up speed on the flat surface.

  Instead, I drew to a panicked stop, barely avoiding falling into the giant pit at the top. I peered into its depths. Parts of my soul seemed to freeze at the horror below me.

  Simon’s voice was thin. “I wished to scout.”

  Sera and Mac clambered over the edge. Sera was cursing, her words overloud and inappropriate. I saw her enraged face inches below mine but couldn’t process what she said.

  I pointed a shaking hand and watched the same mix of shock and terror I felt appear on their faces.

  We stood on the edge of a mass grave.

  There was no other word for it. Bodies lay upon bodies in various stages of decomposition. Some had half their flesh, the rest eaten away by desert animals. Some were only skeletons, the bones bleached by the merciless sun. Some bones were broken or twisted. I wanted to believe that occurred after death, when the bodies were thrown into the pit, but I wasn’t sure even my capacity for denial extended that far. However these people had died, it hadn’t been peaceful.

  “How many?” Sera asked in a whisper. “How many are there?”

  Mac crouched low to the ground so that he could peer into the pit without falling in. “At least ten.”

  I took a deep breath to calm my surging magic and nearly gagged on the stench of decomposing bodies.

  Madness whispered to me. It had no interest in the corpses, for in death they were nothing but bones. No, the madness promised me distance. The ability to gaze upon a pile of dead bodies and feel nothing.

  I’d never been so tempted to let it in. If I stopped fighting, all the pain and suffering would belong to others.

  “Ade. Aidan!”

  My head snapped up, and the darkness retreated. “I’m here,” I said, and it was mostly true. “Who are they?”

  Sera shook her head. “Can’t say for sure, though the coloring on a few of them suggests they were deserts. A couple of fires, too. One that might be an ice, though I can’t begin to say what an ice would be doing in Utah.”

  “The height was about right, too,” I said, reluctantly recalling the image. Fires tended to be on the short side, while deserts were often like Luke, tall and rangy.

  Luke. He’d said he was scared of this place, but he could have been more detailed about why. He told us she kept people. I’d pictured hostages, not corpses. Somehow, he’d escaped this fate.

  “Head back to the others, Sera.”

  Her jaw set, braced for a fight I had no energy to start.

  I gestured around us. “There’s nothing else here. Nothing you can protect me from, unless we believe in zombies now. Mac will be with me. We’ll head down as soon as I explore. Feel free to interrogate Luke without me. Or to stick his head in some fast-moving engine parts. There were a few gaps in his story.”

  Too late, I worried that my belief in our connection had put us all at risk. Someone who leads you to a pile of dead bodies might not have your best interests at heart.

  Sera didn’t want to leave, but neither did she trust Luke with the others. Reluctantly, she and Simon stepped over the edge, leaving me and Mac alone. Alone, except for the decaying corpses at our feet.

  I stepped around the pit, putting at least ten feet between me and its edge.

  About five hundred feet in the distance, the hill sloped upward again, but until then it was a perfectly flat surface. The grave only took up about ten feet of that area. The rest was hard red rock. Luke said the first magic kept people, but there was nothing to support his story. There were no buildings, no structures of any kind where these people would have lived.

  I walked across the flat surface, then returned in widening circles that allowed me to explore every foot of the space.

  “Mac,” I pointed at a square of charred ground, about fifteen feet long on each side.

  “A building?” He knelt and ran his hand along the ground, then sniffed his fingers. “Burned.”

  My fire already knew that. Perhaps Luke had told us the truth, or at least some version of it.

  Mac walked ahead of me, staring at the ground. “There was another here, also burned. The marks are about the same age.”

  “You picking up any scents?” My senses were as limited as any human’s. With the stench of decaying flesh filling my nostrils, I was doing my best not to inhale at all.

  Mac lifted his head and took a long breath, pulling air deeply into his lungs. His tanned skin paled. He wasn’t immune to the smell of death. “Ashes. Small animals. And ozone.” He glanced up at the clear sky and shivered. “Is there supposed to be a storm?”

  I felt it then. Icy fingers trailing along my arm, cold breath against my neck.

  Mac lurched forwards, pulled by invisible puppet strings.

  No one spoke, and no words reached my ears, and still I heard the voice, high and clear and pure, a sound free of the limitations of humanity’s vocal chords. A voice that didn’t require lips and teeth and tongue, that had never been restrained by such earthly concerns.

  It spoke a single word that rang inside my skull, and when Mac’s head jerked up, I knew he heard it, too.

  “Mine,” it said.

  CHAPTER 9

  The cold claimed me. It touched every cell in my body. It slid from my throat to my shoulders and arms, traveling through me in seconds.

  I’d felt something similar before, when an ice elemental used his power to subdue me. I’d never have expected to find an ice in the desert.

  Something reached for my magic with grasping fingers, its touch greedy and demanding. It gripped the strong threads of both fire and water and tugged, its hold merciless. I resisted, but between the ongoing side effects from the drug and the icy touch slithering through me, I was too weak. Bit by bit, my magic was torn from me.

  Luke said it played with magic. I should have insisted on more information. This thing didn’t want to toy with me. It wanted to devour me.

  I saw nothing. I only sensed a hunger, a gaping, cavernous hunger that could never be satisfied.

  Panic swelled as my fire and water wer
e inexorably drawn from me.

  Mac stood next to me. Whatever had controlled him a moment ago now seemed focused on me.

  “Aidan!” His nostrils flared, shifter senses working overtime to find anything he could fight.

  I tried speaking, but my tongue was frozen.

  Mac roared, the beast replacing the man. His human side might be capable of logic and cunning, but the bear possessed a feral instinct for survival that trumped anything the man could offer.

  The cold vanished, and while my magic wasn’t released, it was no longer drawn from my body. I still felt the voracious hunger, but it wasn’t directed at me.

  Mac’s face slid between bear and man over and over, but the transformation was wrong. During a normal shift, each feature would reform as the lines of his face built themselves into the desired shape.

  Now the bear slid from his face like a mask being removed to reveal the human underneath. Mac reclaimed it each time, and his teeth would sharpen and fur would darken his skin, but the attacker was insistent.

  I couldn’t see anything, but I sensed its emotions. Not just hunger, but frustration when Mac resisted. A determination to triumph.

  I narrowed my entire focus onto my fire half and wrenched that thread from the distracted being that held it. The fire recoiled, slamming into my core.

  My bid for freedom didn’t go unnoticed. It resumed its assault on me, twice as strong as before, but the thing released Mac. I thought it could only manage a direct attack on one of us at a time.

  I crumpled to my knees, holding on to my power with all my remaining strength. There was nothing I could battle, no countermeasures either of us could take. I could only play defense, and I was losing.

  Once again, it tried to rip my fire loose. Though the threads remained anchored within me, my opponent held the other ends of both fire and water. The magic was strung between us. Fingers caressed my power, the touch covetous and eager. When I continued to fight for my fire magic, the creature dropped that thread entirely, doubling its assault on my water side.